It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize