Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
