Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
