Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
