Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize