how can u be prego again
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
