Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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