Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
