Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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