I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
no you cant smoke seaweed
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
