Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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