Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
