Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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