What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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