Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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