You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
