worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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