who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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