Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize