i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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