I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The ass gains better be worth it
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