I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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