this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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