The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
