All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Success! We fucked roommates!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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