she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
