i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
