Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
