he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
