Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize