I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
