Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
