I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
