I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
