theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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