She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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