Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
