Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
