I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
