we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Randomize
