Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
