Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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