he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you would pick up someone in the library
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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