Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
