honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
