I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
