I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
