I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
And then he peed in my hair
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