If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
