I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
