Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
