your thong is hanging out like whoa
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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