what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
false alarm, still single
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