Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
3pm strippers are depressing
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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