Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
