Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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