We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
