Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
