Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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