he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She bit a glass in half.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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