I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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