If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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