If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
