I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
