he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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